Is there a case for a child free cafe in Balham?

By aloquifique | Monday, September 27, 2010, 12:26

Should Balham's cafes and restaurants ban babies and children?

Wandsworth has 2nd highest birth rate in inner london.

I know this is going to be very emotive and I know I'm on very dangerous ground, but I want to put it out there because it's something I hear an awful lot from many different, unconnected Balham people.

Firstly. A bit of background. Wandsworth's annual birth rate rose in 2009 to reach the highest levels since record began. We are now the Borough with the second highest number of babies born in inner London. It is true. We are nappy valley. There are many children in our midst.

Now, when you've got a baby and you're off work, I know how important it is to get out there and connect with other people, especially other mums. Having a (good cup of) morning coffee with fellow antenatal friends is now an essential part of the early parenting mix alongside the bugaboo, the Gina Ford book and baby massage courses.

I also know that when you have a baby you become oblivious to others going about their daily routine. Your baby and how lovely / exhausting / stimulating / incredibly difficult (delete where appropriate) it is, is your world. I also know that other people, apart from a very few good friends and family members, find other people's children very irritating and don't want to spend their down time being with or listening to the hubbub that comes with anyone under, lets say 10 years old. Yet, in Balham, that is virtually an impossibility during the day and at weekends. The evidence is overwhelming.

John Comyn, a long term Balham resident and regular at the Nightingale pub recently wrote an article for the Publican, linked to here. On Twitter @cynical_sar writes 'if you are a women in Balham during the day and you don't have a baby you are a serious social outcast'. Sam Harrison who welcomes children into his Balham restaurant but know's there are issues among customers who want a kid free lunch and customers who don't. He tweeted the other day saying 'do people get embarrassed if their 7 year old is screaming and ruining lunch for everyone?' How can he keep all his customers happy? @ianfreeman, another Balham stalwart on twitter has long had a dialogue with me asking where he can enjoy a quality coffee in a child free cafe in Balham. The list goes on. And these people aren't demons just because they raise the issue.

Is there now a case to have a cafe, in the heart of nappy valley, that is child and buggy free? It's a difficult one to solve. But I am hearing this more and more. I know all the arguments - that we're all citizens - children and adults - in a tolerant democratic society (most of the time), who have the right to choose where and with whom we want to spend our social time, but in Balham certainly, this issue is beginning to test that argument to the max.

Comments anyone? (runs for cover!)

Re-post Write a story

Ads by Google

Comments

Tried to hold a business meeting in The French Cafe today - dozens of screaming brats! Totally hopeless. What about this idea for a kid-free coffee shop/cafe? Who's with me?

By ianfreeman at 23:40 on 06/10/10
Report
It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the monster-truck strollers and pushchairs everyone seems to have. Surely it's against the law to park you combination Chelsea Tractor/shopping cart/Creche in front of the Gents or the fire exit. I have been in Tartine while a coven of Yums had parked up their giant babytanks in a perilous hedge between their table and the toilets. Like a good Canadian I "pardon me"-ed and "excuse me"-ed myself through the maze, contorting apologetically to get to the bog before I soiled my undiapered trousers. Did a single one of them look up? Grab a handle and say "sorry, let me get this out of your way, person who is clearly an outpatient of the hospital round the corner where I pushed little Tristan out straight into this seal-fur lined, mortgage-inducing reproduction of a 1920's chauffeur-driven land yacht"? No. Not one.

I have a good mind to walk around here dressed in nappies and a blue Babygro, because I think that would be the only way to get one of them to acknowledge a person with a fully-healed belly button. Maybe Bertie and Boo would come to my house on my birthday and wake up all my neighbours at dawn on Saturday with a show just for me and a yard full of my friends. just for us, nobody else. Except they will have brought along the amps and speakers that Metallica rejected for health and safety reasons to amplify every squeal of delight we make at their bowel-churning songs about Daffodils and Valleys.

Of course, my friends R and I, with their new Baby O, are nothing like these Balham caricatures. At no point have I been made to hold their newborn (I'm not insured for that) nor been forced to 'coo' against my will. I bear no curmudgeonly feelings towards them, and I would gladly throw myself under the wheels of Baby O's reasonably sized stroller anyday.

By Drewsterino at 09:54 on 05/10/10
Report
Northcote road is a lot worse than Balham, so we should be grateful!

But basically, if you want to avoid the prams, avoid Berties (and all of Northcote road). Simple.

We're a little spoiled for good cafes in Balham. You have French Cafe up on Ritherdon road (you'll need to go for a 10 minute walk, which is too far for pram pushers) which is outstanding, and you have De lys on Bedford Hill Rd which has probably the best coffee (and certainly the best cakes) in Balham (and is on a sidestreet, and thus out of vision of most baby bearing parents).

There's a brilliant, brilliant Italian deli/coffee shop/bisto on Trinity Road whose name escapes me right now. It's like 2 minute walk from Tooting Bec. No prams there either!

I think a general rule is one just need to go off the high road to escape the baby plague.

By ajames at 11:11 on 01/10/10
Report
give it a bleedin' rest idafoot! Someone should open a cafe with 2 areas, one for adults and one for the likes of you with your horrible little brats. preferably separated by 2 feet of concrete.

By IKhanbughi at 13:03 on 28/09/10
Report
From a friend who lives elsewhere in London: "Child free cafes? A double underlined neon lit YES!

There was a cafe in one local park (Stoke Newington, Hackney) that had huge queues with screaming kids and over indulgent PC mothers holding everything up intent on explaining every damned ingredient of a carrot cake to their spoilt, hyperactive offspring. It was INFURIATING...Child free pubs are a joy too."

By ianfreeman at 12:04 on 28/09/10
Report